URGENT PRAYER NEEDED.
I have a name Emmanuel but many things in my life happened as if God is not with me, esp concerning my personal life & needs. I am fool of four decades . I have not settled down in job properly and lost all chances to find a family. I cannot understand what to do with a blessing and an great. I just cannot understand people and jump to conclusions and because of which I am left with loneliness. My life itself is a curse & a burden to me, I have lost all interest in life job and do not like to meet people and prefer loneliness more than anything. I am in a mess & I need to repay a loan of 2,50,000 that I have taken towards taking a rented house & repaying my credit cards. I don\’t even understand what to ask for , please pray to God to deliver me from this life as I have lived this foolish, stupid and cursed life enough. I have no interest in facing another day as I am a fool who has not understanding & diligence or any prudence. I am abandoned to my misery and mindlessness. Strangely there is always a difference between the will of God any my desperate needs. At the end I am always a looser.Most of my prayers are rejected. I am the least among my peers and most unwanted one. I cannot figure out where I went wrong & I am more cautious in everything compared to others. I wanted to avoid some harsh & rude women when I got the marriage alliances & for that I am paying with intolerable loneliness. I have taken enough of sleeping pills atleast to keep my mouth and troubled mind shut but they did not help me. I am right where i was when I woke up.I am deciding to pay off this loan and once that is over leave everything and go anywhere anyhow and as I am terribly feling uneasy to be in one place. All the people who turned me down & whom I could not accept have reached homes & settled as families. I don\’t even want to think of it which is honorable for everyone else and miserable curse for me . Anyway all my life spent as a guinea-pig and now I dot hope for anything as I do not have a heart forget the desires. I just want leave without a trace as I feel that I do not fit any of these people and places. I need release from all of this situation. Please pray as to what seems right for me in Jesus name.